Stupid Things Done and Seen
May 25, 2002 @ 5:41 pm | So Sayeth Da Kaml

You know, there is a reason I hate alcohol and have a VERY low tolerance for people who drink and for being around people or situations that involve drinking. However, I have been known to sip drinks (and no, that is not hypocritical) and every time I do it just reaffirms why I hate alcohol (among the many other reasons). Something about the taste of it sends me into nasty shocks; my friends love to torture me by offering sips JUST so they can see the faces I make. In any case, about a month ago I was at Sara’s house and she had me try this hot chocolate mixture with Kahlua and Irish Cream…not a problem….had no reaction and could barely taste it. Move to today. Sara is in Orlando with her friend Sue at an 80s rock concert starring Poison and I ask if I can hang at her house and play her Xbox. She says OK and I enjoy a leisurely day there. Why, oh why, I got the bug to make that same hot chocolate drink I will never understand. You see, I may know about the different kinds of alcohol (to a degree), but I know SHIT about measuring. I think I put way too much of something in there because by the time I was done drinking it I was having a head rush and my stomach was in pains. Consider it a psycho-physiological response and not an allergy. I conditioned myself to hate it mentally so much so that my body got duped. How can you be so sure you ask? Well allow me to share an embarrassing story:

Picture it: Valentine’s Day. 1998

Two of my girl-friends surprise me by showing up at my apartment and drag me to dinner at Carraba’s (this after they both decide to play a game of flash-the-camel). So I give in and go and we have a really good time. We get back to my place late and they have a bottle of champagne. Naturally, I turn it down, but after much bitching, whining, and complaining I offer to have a SIP just to appease them. And when I mean sip, I mean less than a millimeter. Everything is fine. A couple more hours of laughing and such and they go home. I go to sleep excited because they are showing a remastered Gone With The Wind on TV the next day and it has been a long time since I have seen it. Oh, but you see…I would never get to see the damn thing. I wake up the next morning feeling like death and slipping in and out of consciousness the ENTIRE day. I can’t get up and walk around, I can’t even stand to pee because I am so dizzy. No barfing, no cold symptoms, no sweating. Just the feeling of death. I finally blackout and wake up the next morning just fine. Sure, it could have been the food or something else. But I don’t think so.

The lesson: NO MORE SIPPING OR MAKING DRINKS!!!!

Now for two stupid things I saw on my way home:

1.A billboard for clam juice with a lady holding a bottle looking WAY too happy about a bottle of clam juice.

2.A couple rolling a grocery cart full of food into their house and looking quite suspicious about it.

I need to get a digital camera and start taking pictures of this stuff.


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