Oh Proposition 8 (or 2 for Floridians)…what a baseless and senseless loom you have chosen to weave your banal limitations on.

Ok, most anyone who knows me well enough knows how ridiculous I think the institution of marriage is.  It is neither sacred nor holy…it is, at best, in this country at least, a laughable and antiquated expression of union stolen by Christians and bastardized by adulterers.

The idea of marriage goes far beyond the reaches of the church when it was seen as a literal joining of the spirits.  This was not about God or tax breaks or insurance incentives.  Somewhere along the line, the good ol’ church decided, in another step to eradicate those heathen pagans, to take the ceremony and turn it into something else.  No raping of a bunny as the gatekeeper of plaque and cavities this time around.

Never, as far as I know and I am open to being wrong, were people asked to vote on marriage itself.  So why on earth would we be asked to now.  Yes, yes, I know the wording of the propositions is such that they narrowly escape being slammed on another separation of church and state issue…but let’s be realistic about this.  Though they may have a legal leg to stand on, those that drafted the proposition, and lobby for it, and marketed it, do so from no other impetus than a religious one or a personal “icky” factor – you know, the one where the thought of one guy’s dick up another’s ass is just “icky”…yet somehow lesbian love is pretty…oh patriarchy.

Granting same sex couples the right to have their union recognized in NO way damaged the economics, politics, or culture of the country and the legal jargon being thrown to hide the religious/personal issues hold absolutely no water.  Par example:

1) What is to stop someone from marrying their pet or a dead relative?  Really now…seriously??

2) God will reign down a plague of fire and brimstone.  Hate to tell you this but I seriously doubt God cares that much when he has his hands full dealing with the hurried prayers uttered in desperation by rich old men whose secrets are about to come pouring out.  Note:  they are usually fo the religious right ilk.

3)  The Bible says…and so on, blah, blah…lest we forget that the Bible also says no seafood or mixed fiber clothing.  And don’t give me that old vs new testament crap.  You wanna pick and choose then you deal with the loopholes you create.

At the end of the day, WHO THE HELL CARES!?  I mean, come on now.  Straight couples have all but destroyed the notion of marriage for life and for love.  I know gay couples who have lasted longer.  And why should that even be an argument: the lasting of one kind over another.

If you want to hate on it because you personally find it disgusting or think God hates it, then, fine.  But have the balls to just say it and not hide behind punctured-bag logic.  If the mo’s and the lez’s wanna get hitched and have equal rights, I say let ‘em.  Marriage is an antiquated and dead idea best reserved for those who wants a strong coach in their corner should guilt and fidelity ever come up.

In other random news, I really should finish this site design and get to my writing.

Ok, I THINK I have decided on a basic theme I can tinker with and make my own.  This seems to be the direction I am going in, in conjunction with the last one I had designed.

I could very well change my mind again.  Just want to make sure it is right because these themes and playing around with them can be an unmitigated pain the rectum.

That’s right, I said it, rectum.

Well, I administered my first exam since I started teaching four years ago. Never needed to give final exams in my Comp classes, but this film course required one. I was hell for me to have to sit through 3 hours of it, I can only imagine what it was like for the students. Then again, they have no room to complain. I now have two days to grade 50 final exams each consisting of 4 essays at the average length of 9 handwritten pages total. I am NOT looking forward to grading them. I don’t think I will ever be able to leave the house.

But, the consolation is that I can hang at Sara’s house and grade them while she goes to North Carolina for the week. Lucky her. I had thought of going with her, and I had thought of just going away for the week, but some stuff came up and I won’t be able to go much of anyplace, so I will be house/cat-sitting for her which suits me just fine. If all goes well, maybe I can shoot up to NY in August and see some shows and visit some friends. I need a break or something. My mind is just fried. I am also thoroughly fucking bored with no show to do, but hopefully that will change within the next couple of weeks.

Now, on a COMPLETELY different note, I wanted to share a lovely little phrase that I have revived from my lexicon on intelligent and cultural insults that no one would get: Duplicitous and Manipulative Sow. Allow me to break it down for you:

Duplicitous

Function: adjective

Date: 1928

Definition:contradictory doubleness of thought, speech, or action; especially : the belying of one’s true intentions by deceptive words or action

Manipulative

Function: transitive verb

Date: 1831

Definition:to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one’s purpose

Sow

Function: noun

Date: before 12th century

Definition:an adult female swine; also : the adult female of various other animals (as a bear)

There is something to be said for the threpeutic nature of a puppy and a chew toy. I drove over to Sara’s which gave me chance to see Harmonie again. It has been a while since I have seen her and she had her new Lab mix puppy with her, Audrey. Audrey is simply adorable and exremely friendly and playful. It was a definite mood lifter for me. That’s all. I found that pertinent to have to blog about.

2. Did you make someone smile today? If not, will you try?

Not yet. I just woke up 15 minutes ago. But I am planning on making someone smile today, so I definitely WILL be trying.

3. Have you any clothes or accessories you love to wear but just totally embaras the person you are being seen with?

Yes. My neon green coordinating outfit and my bondage pants.

4. What was the catch phrase you said the most in High School?

Hmm….there were so many. It would have to be: Whatever!

5. Who are you remembering this Memorial Day? (or for those not celebrating it, tell me about someone worth remembering)

My childhood best friend. I miss her a lot and have only seen her once since I left during the Gulf War. I wish I could see her again and hang out with her.  It would be a trip to see how much we have both grown.

6. Do you think you are a good friend?

Well, I always hope I am. I do my best and do all the things that I know I would want a good friend doing to/for me. I have been told that I am, and although I tend to be skeptical about it, I know that I am extremely selfless and generous when it comes to my friends, whether materialistically or emotionally.

7. (continued from MM 2.20) That outing tonight was a blast … but that was last call. I totally overdid it and shouldn’t drive, anything we can do while I try to “dry out?”

Well, I must REALLY like you if I am hanging around a drunk person. So I would just “deal” with you until you sobered up. Maybe walk around, or set you to sleep. Or, even better, take your ass home and stay there until you sobered up (you know, the whole crash on the couch thing).

BONUS: Do ya love me, now that I can dance?

I loved ya before you could dance.

You know, there is a reason I hate alcohol and have a VERY low tolerance for people who drink and for being around people or situations that involve drinking. However, I have been known to sip drinks (and no, that is not hypocritical) and every time I do it just reaffirms why I hate alcohol (among the many other reasons). Something about the taste of it sends me into nasty shocks; my friends love to torture me by offering sips JUST so they can see the faces I make. In any case, about a month ago I was at Sara’s house and she had me try this hot chocolate mixture with Kahlua and Irish Cream…not a problem….had no reaction and could barely taste it. Move to today. Sara is in Orlando with her friend Sue at an 80s rock concert starring Poison and I ask if I can hang at her house and play her Xbox. She says OK and I enjoy a leisurely day there. Why, oh why, I got the bug to make that same hot chocolate drink I will never understand. You see, I may know about the different kinds of alcohol (to a degree), but I know SHIT about measuring. I think I put way too much of something in there because by the time I was done drinking it I was having a head rush and my stomach was in pains. Consider it a psycho-physiological response and not an allergy. I conditioned myself to hate it mentally so much so that my body got duped. How can you be so sure you ask? Well allow me to share an embarrassing story:

Picture it: Valentine’s Day. 1998

Two of my girl-friends surprise me by showing up at my apartment and drag me to dinner at Carraba’s (this after they both decide to play a game of flash-the-camel). So I give in and go and we have a really good time. We get back to my place late and they have a bottle of champagne. Naturally, I turn it down, but after much bitching, whining, and complaining I offer to have a SIP just to appease them. And when I mean sip, I mean less than a millimeter. Everything is fine. A couple more hours of laughing and such and they go home. I go to sleep excited because they are showing a remastered Gone With The Wind on TV the next day and it has been a long time since I have seen it. Oh, but you see…I would never get to see the damn thing. I wake up the next morning feeling like death and slipping in and out of consciousness the ENTIRE day. I can’t get up and walk around, I can’t even stand to pee because I am so dizzy. No barfing, no cold symptoms, no sweating. Just the feeling of death. I finally blackout and wake up the next morning just fine. Sure, it could have been the food or something else. But I don’t think so.

The lesson: NO MORE SIPPING OR MAKING DRINKS!!!!

Now for two stupid things I saw on my way home:

1.A billboard for clam juice with a lady holding a bottle looking WAY too happy about a bottle of clam juice.

2.A couple rolling a grocery cart full of food into their house and looking quite suspicious about it.

I need to get a digital camera and start taking pictures of this stuff.

So first off….my finger…..yeah, still tingling. It has reduced a lot but I can still feel it underneath my skin. It is annoying as shit.

I had a WEIRD dream this morning. I was hanging out with my friends in some hotel lobby and we had just auditioned for a show. We all plan to go out but I have to go to the bathroom. So I head to one and it’s full, so I leave and come back later and just go in. So there are two sets of stalls and two sets of urinals. The first set of stalls are filled, and there are people throwing up in the second one. The first set of urinals is filled, the second is empty. I HATE using urinals, but I give up and head into that section. However, I suffer from pee fright. It’s a nightmare for me to use public bathrooms. I can see through the cracks in this section and I can see the bottoms of the bathroom stalls and there is more than one person in one of the stalls and I am thinking: Oh my! And with all these people in here. Out of the corner of my eye I notice a woman walking towards me and I am like: Uh….what the?. Then she just stops and stands next to me and at this point I realize I am being cruised….AND I can’t pee. So I leave to try and find and empty stall and now there is more than one person in EACH stall. The friggin’ bathroom turns into a bacchanal and people are cruising, sexing, and barfing left and right. I just stand in the middle of the room and scream: Can SOMEONE get out so I can pee! But no response. So I leave and now I am in a friggin airport. I look left and right and I see no bathrooms, I ask a clerk and he says there is one in front of me. About 30 feet away. But I am so exhausted that I don’t even bother. And then I woke up.

I have no FRIGGIN’ clue what any of that even means

So I have been having some pest problems recently. Namely: a trait of ants in my pantry that seem to have gotten through the ceiling. I thought I had my bases covered when I raided the hole and then caulked it, but lo and behold! They are back tonight and from another hole. Resourceful little fuckers. So I raided and caulked the new hole. I don’t mind insects. With the exception of roaches. I have a live and let live policy with them being in my house (something my cats DO NOT believe in); however, ants in my food are a nuisance.

1. When was the last time you went out with a true love of yours? What did you two do that made it so special?

Nothing, since I have not had a true love yet.

2. Which far-away friend would you most like to see again?

Well, I finally got to see my best friend from high school recently, so I would have to say my childhood best friend from whom I was separated because of the Gulf War.

3. Any high or low points about this past weekend? What went on?

Oh lord. How eeerie is this question? High Points — The show I was working on ending and hanging out with the cast laughing my ass off. Low Points — Being in an emotional pit for no reason which lead to a complete breakdown for one
day….and the show I was working ending. Not sure when I will see some of those people again, but it was fun while it lasted.

4. I’ve been thinking about getting a buzz-cut for the summer, a big change for me. Have you ever made any drastic changes to your appearance?

The most drastic would be bleaching my hair and getting an eyebrow ring.

5. How long do you think a couple should date before they get married? Or if you are married, do you think you should have waited longer to get hitched?

Until they feel they are ready to commit to each other. Escapist answer, so here is a number….3 years. And for God’s sake! Live together first!

6. I just found out my long-time friend does not like Star Wars (!) and has only seen the original 1977 movie! Have you ever discovered anything new or shocking about a long-time friend you thought you knew everything about?

Yeah. I found out that my high schol best friend lied about everything he ever told me about himself.

7. Well we had a nice picnic and saw the sunset, but now it’s dark and I think we should liven things up. Let’s call some of your friends and go out. Who do you want to invite and where should we all go?

Nate, Tenille, the Pickel Queen, Matt, CJ, Jacob, Jason, Sara, Bayley, Leslie.  The craziest group of people you could ever get together. We should all go to Ybor or to someone’s house where the laughter will ensue into the wee hours
of the morning.

BONUS: Why can’t ya be good to me?

Oh, but I am. I am too good to you. You just don’t realize it.

1. Have you ever given someone a present you just KNEW would be “da bomb” and when they opened it you could tell they just hated it? What’s the story there?

Nah. I have been fortunate enough to know what to get my friends for any occasion.  The gifts are always either personal or gags.

2. What do you do that you would prefer that Mother never finds out about?

Anything and everything. She knows nothing about what I do in my day-to-day business. Can’t really think of any one thing that I would care about other than my prostitution and drug ring business.

3. Ever get in any arguments with your mother? What was one of the worst?

Oh yes. All the time when I was younger and once in a blue moon now. The worst was when she wanted to stop be from doing drama in high school.  I remember screaming and yelling and threatening never to speak to her again if she decided to do that. We were yelling at the top of our lungs (which is not surprising for our culture).

4. When was the last time someone special hurt your feelings? Did you tell

them or keep it to yourself?

When my best friend, after months of playing mind games and using me, just up and left and never said a word. I sporadically hear from them. Yeah, I kept it to myself. I always do. That’s the curse of a forgiving an selfless person.
You swallow all the hurt and pain of others only to taste your own bitterness and never burden them with your own problems, worries, or concerns.

5. Has your mother ever laid any guilt trips on you or made you feel like you can’t do something good enough?

I always felt that my mother was partially Jewish, but I guess it’s a mother thing. She has tried to do both, and when I was younger it “may” have worked, but I ignore it now and just call her on it every single time.

6. Looking back on your life, was there ever a point you see as the “crossroads” where you made a decisions that changed the course of your life? A path you did not take? What was that path, and do you ever daydream about what your life would have been like on the “road not taken?” Tell me about that.

Two actually: 1) Escaping from Kuwait during the Gulf War to come to America; although, I didn’t have much choice there. I always wondered what would have happened if I never came her and met the people I did and gotten involved in theatre.

2) Returning to my old high school to volunteer for my drama club. I think about all the kids I have met who have been
such a big part of my life (both positively and negatively). Sometimes I wish I had never gone back, and other times I am thankful I did because of the people I met. But, I never play the “what if” game. What happened happened and I deal with all the consequences, both good and bad. Everything happens for a reason.

7. That was an awesome picnic basket you put together, let’s stroll outby the lake as the sun sets. A cool breeze blows off the lake as the orange and red reflects off the ripples in the water. I can tell something is on your mind and I ask you. You think about how to reply but finally you say …

Nothing.

BONUS: What do you think will come of that?

I am assuming this is in reference to the last question. The person will either keep pressing me to answer them and I will get annoyed or finally break down and tell them. It depends on the person.